What You Were Always Seeking

Your deepest longing has already been fulfilled, and you were the last to know. 


Everything you have ever longed for is already present, here and now - which is the last place you'd ever look. The miracle to end all miracles is happening, and it is this moment exactly as it is. 


Yes - this, this is the grace. Every breath. Each sensation. Every sound. That which has already been allowed in. That which cannot be blocked out. 


Even pain, even boredom, even despair - those most unwanted and unloved waves of human experience - are finally allowed to flood into the space where 'you' are not, and have never been. 


And the paradox is this: none of it can touch you anymore, not even the greatest pain. And yet, and yet, you experience all of it completely, you feel it all more intensely than ever before, unable to block it out anymore, unable to turn away. Who would turn away, and from what? This is life in its fullness.


So what is left but simple gratitude? Gratitude for the fact that anything has ever happened at all. 


And if nothing ever happens again, know this, dear reader - you have been here to witness the miracle of life. You have known it. Tasted it. Felt it. Seen it. The reflection of a waning moon in a car window. The taste of still water. The fragrance of cotton. The silent depths of meditation. The fierce intensity of fear. Your grandmother's bones. It has been enough. Oh, it has been more than enough. 


It has been too much, in fact. Too much grace. And so the separate self turned away from it in overwhelm, looking for relief, seeking a future that never came, and cannot come....


And you’ve only been seeking yourself. 


Awe and wonder, my friend. Awe and wonder.


~ Jeff Foster

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