Two Ways to Heal


There are two ways to heal.

Alone, or together.

We can heal alone:
We can make time to be with ourselves. Create space in our schedules, away from all distractions and noise and people.
We can break our addiction to “others”.
To constant communication.
To constant talking and movement and activity.
We can learn to lean into our boredom, breathe into our loneliness.
We can drench “the restless one” inside with love.
Learn to appreciate the intimacy of our solitude.
The quiet moments. The moments of sweet emptiness.
We can commune with the birds, the trees, the ocean, with space and the rich nothingness of things.
Fall into the silence and the stillness and find there an unfathomable healing love.
We can let the ground hold us.
We can lie prostrate on the ground.
Become the ground.
We can find our wholeness at the burning core of our yearning, so that we are never lonely again.
Because we are with God now, and in God.
And our deepest wounds are now flushed with God.
And God is all there is.

We can heal together:
We can open our hearts to each other.
Tell our deepest truth to other humans on this planet.
See God in each other.
Show our most unloveable parts, the parts we hide in shame and fear.
Break our addiction to isolation.
Take the risk of being rejected.
Take the risk of being loved more deeply than ever.
We can find someone - a partner, a friend, a therapist, a family member - and ask them to help midwife our authentic selves.
We can ask them if they would be willing to be present with us.
(We must ask. We cannot demand this.)
To hear our cry. To hold us as we break.
To receive our raw, unfiltered truth.
Our terror and our joy.
Our shame and our loneliness.
And not run away. And not judge us.
We can ask for safety! A loving field of permission.
We can ask for that from each other.
We can learn to offer that to each other.
A safe ground of love.
That holds us in our anger, in our confusion, in our despair, and in our joy.
We are deserving of such love.
A massive love that holds and heals us from deep within.

We can be alone together and we can be together alone.
We can heal alone and we can heal together.

I am eternally grateful to the women and men who have been willing to stay present to my truth, even if it scared them.
And to the ones who felt safe enough to share theirs with me, even as they trembled while saying it.

And I am eternally grateful to myself.
The little one here.
Who found the courage to be alone.
(Though he nearly died in the process).
And meet his own infinite depths.
And shatter himself into a billion pieces for love.
And discover the One who heals all.

~ Jeff Foster

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