Don't Waste Time On Blame, Use it to Grow


Sometimes, as we still keep believing in our personal mind's stories, certain situations may trigger our impulsive reactions. It may be out of fear, anger or other strong emotions that take over at that moment. As a result you say or do something that you regret later. When people do something in affection, they often say afterwards "I have no idea how I could do that, I was not myself". And they are right. The moment you do that, your mind takes over, like uncontrolled wild horse, taking you for a ride. It tells you a story about fear, hurt, the need to attack, to burst out, and you believe that story so much that you cannot even stop for a while to take a look at it all from a deeper perspective. Would you say that it is because you want or enjoy that? For sure no one wants it, because it results in suffering both for you and people affected by that situation. Yet still you act like this and cannot control it. It happens because of lack of understanding, lack of awareness. For this very moment you believe in your personal story so strongly that you think you are that and it takes over.

 

How to deal with the blame that you feel afterwards? The blame is just another unpleasant feeling that appears as a result of your action. By itself it means nothing, it is just a feeling that comes and goes. It is you who gives it a certain meaning. Based on the feeling of blame your mind can create another story that you believe in, for example: "I'm hopeless, I'm a bad person, nobody will love me anymore, I do not deserve it", or you can use the feeling of blame as a great opportunity to grow and know yourself better. The blame shows you directly that you just acted out of your personal mind, not out of your true natural state of being and most actions driven by your personal mind will bring you nothing but sorrow. You have two choices now: you can either keep believing in another personal story your mind creates about being a bad person, or you can use it as a chance to learn about your true nature, to go deeper within and see what you truly are and what you are not. You are not your stories for sure. After a while of acting out of them, your mind will make you exhausted with all that suffering and that will help turn your focus back to something deeper beyond all that stories. Simply - to come back home, to who you truly are; the love within, which you forgot about while being so engaged in this world's stories. A wise person can use every single thing that comes on the way on his/her advantage: every feeling, every situation, whether pleasant or unpleasant, to learn and know more about the true self.

 

Be gentle with yourself, drop all that exhausting stories and rest in your heart's truth.

 

~ Rani

 


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